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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27257389">We love you as you are</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keikaashi/pseuds/Keikaashi'>Keikaashi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bokuakakuroken shenenagians [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bokuto is in love, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gender Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Kenma is in love, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Akaashi Keiji, Self projection, This is a vent, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, because I say so, bokuken solidarity, bokuto is a she/they gay, experimenting, hes my highest kin so !, i completely forgot to tag that sorry, i swear to god if anyone clowns in my comments, i'm really confused about my gender identity so i projected on bokuto !!, it isnt mentioned but i thought it while writing this, she/he pronouns for bokuto, vent - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:07:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27257389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keikaashi/pseuds/Keikaashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you ever feel like you're stuck at a fork in the road? Two paths you're fced with but only one you must choose?</p><p>Bokuto finds himself not as comfortable in his skin as he hoped he'd be, finding things suffocating and limiting. He asks Kenma to help him feel comfortable with himself, to help him feel like himself again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bokuakakuroken shenenagians [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We love you as you are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was me putting Bokuto in the same position as i am. Don't clown on this, if ya'll do i'll eat you. Bokuto is a she/they gay cuz i might be too and hes my highest kin and i make the rules.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bokuto felt his chest constrict, his breathing coming out in short breaths. He felt his throat close and he sat back on the couch, as he brought his legs up to hug to his chest. He couldn’t remember if he was alone or not, but everything seemed so dark around him. His skin itched, feeling like pricks and tingles running up his arms. It didn’t feel like his body, it didn’t feel like him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands reached up to claw at his face, pulling at the skin. He heaved, his fingers shaking and his body trembling. He didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t want to be sitting here in the dark under these blankets. It was hot and his skin heat up, flushing and overheating against his bones. All the sensations he hated buzzed through him as tears welled in his eyes. Everything felt gross, everything felt different. His legs jerked in his anxiety, twitched in his frenzy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He curled up on the couch, covering his head with the blanket. He wanted this to pass, he didn’t even know what caused it to begin with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto?” A voice said behind the bundle on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t look, he didn’t even properly hear the voice honestly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt a weight lean over, arms pulling the blanket up so they could peek in. Bokuto looked up, seeing golden eyes peek at him. He dove his face back into his arms, making a noise of acknowledgement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma sighed, crawling into the blanket heap. “Do you want a hug?” He asked softly, laying as close to the edge as he could without falling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stayed silent before he nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma scooted closer, wrapping his arms around the curled up body next to him. He hummed, running his hands against Bokuto’s back. Bokuto let out a breath, moving closer to the younger male and leaning his head against his [Kenma’s] chest. Bokuto was pretty much just mild shakes now, his tears subsided. He felt warm again, clouded in Kenma’s smell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay enough to talk? Do you want to talk about it?” Kenma asked, slowly bringing the blanket off their heads. Bokuto hummed, snuggling further into Kenma’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t feel comfortable with myself…” He started, slipping his arms around Kenma. “I don’t know why but I feel forced to stay manly. It’s almost suffocating.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma went quiet, not knowing what to really say. So Bokuto continued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get me wrong! I still am a man, I just don’t feel comfortable. I want to be able to be fluid with myself.” Bokuto wiggled in Kenma’s grip, looking at him with wide eyes. Kenma was taken aback, blinking in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you could try more feminine pronouns on me really quick? Please?” Bokuto stared at him with pleading eyes, blinking slightly. Kenma bit his lip and nodded, turning away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto’s really great. She makes me really happy and she’s super nice and energetic. She tries really hard and helps a lot of people out.” Kenma opened his mouth to keep going but he stopped, noticing the fat tears welling up in Bokuto’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit- was that bad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shook his head frantically, burying his face back in Kenma’s chest. “It was good! Thank you! It really made me feel better!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma smiled softly, running his hands through Bokuto’s hair. They stayed there for a while in comfortable silence before the front door swung open. Bokuto didn’t move, he didn’t need to. Kenma looked up, blinking at the two heading into the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Welcome home.” He said, not really moving from his spot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing? Where’s Kou?” Kuroo asked, hanging his coat up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma motioned next to him, at the sleeping body on his chest. Kuroo mouthed an ‘oh’, walking over to pat Bokuto on the head. Akaashi squinted, leaning over the back of the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma looked down at Bokuto, biting his lip. “He had an anxiety attack, I think. I found him while he was in the middle of it so I stayed to comfort him. He has stuff to tell you two though, when he wakes up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it serious?” Kuroo asked from the kitchen. Kenma huffed, shooting him a look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Obviously idiot, why wouldn’t it be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stood up from his spot on the couch back, going around to sit at the end of the couch. “Why didn’t you call us? I’m sure it must have been hard comforting him.” He rubbed at Bokuto’s ankles, the man shifting slightly at his touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t hard, though my arms fell asleep and I’m kinda stuck here until he wakes up again.” Kenma chuckled lightly, wiggling to loosen his weight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed, watching Bokuto silently. He felt a little upset that Kenma didn’t call to let him know Bokuto was like this but he hopes the other will feel better now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto began to stir, his eyes fluttering open. He sat up, staring at Akaashi with wide eyes before he grinned, pouncing the setter in a hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WELCOME HOME KAASHI!!” He exclaimed, rubbing his head into the other’s neck. Akaashi hugged back, rubbing his hands along the other’s back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Kou.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, good morning sleepy head. Nice to see you up.” Kuroo teased, leaning against the back of the couch with a cup of water in hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto let go of Akaashi to make a face at Kuroo before he looked away. He looked over at Kenma and the blonde nodded, giving him a small thumbs up. Bokuto fiddled with his hands in his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have something to tell you guys, if you could listen really quick.” He said, not looking up. Akaashi reached over, placing his hands on top of Bokuto’s causing him to look up. The setter gave him a reassuring smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I told Kenma a few hours ago, I don’t really feel comfortable with my identity so I wanted to be a bit more fluid and I asked him to try out feminine pronouns for me and I think I might prefer those now?” Bokuto stops, letting the words sink in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s hands are gone now, settling to fiddle with each other in his lap. Kenma scoots closer to Bokuto, placing his hand on his shoulder as a way to reassure him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll still use the ones i’ve been using! So it’s fine if you feel weird calling me she…” He trails off. “I hope this doesn’t change what you think of me…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence falls over them again and Bokuto feels the tears well in his eyes before Kuroo’s laughing beside him and Akaashi is leaning forward, hugging her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it won’t change how we think of you. You’ll always be our little owl, Bokuto. Nothing will ever change that.” Akaashi says, squeezing the other. Bokuto blinks, tears running down her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re happy as long as you’re comfortable, man! We aren’t gonna throw away years of our relationship over this.” Kuroo says, rubbing Bokuto’s back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That causes the man to start sobbing, burying her face in Akaashi’s shoulder. The other jumped in surprise, but stayed in the embrace, letting Bokuto cry. Kenma cringed, standing to head into the kitchen for a snack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks you guys… That means so much to me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, dude! Now stop crying, you’re gonna get Akaashi all drenched in your body salt.” Kuroo teased, patting Bokuto on the back before heading upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto gasped and jumped away. “AKAASHI LIKES MY BODY SALT!” She called, Kuroo waving her off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed lightly, kissing Bokuto on the cheek. “Come on, let’s get to bed. It’s very late and i’m sure you and Kenma are tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma made a noise in confirmation before he headed off upstairs too. Bokuto nodded frantically, jumping up to race upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled to himself, rolling up the blanket and following after the two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Bokuto settled between his boyfriends, his worries melting away, the cause of her distress a faraway thought in his mind.</span>
</p>
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